I’m always amazed how hard we fight to get our way, especially when letting go might be the better strategy.

For example, on my way to a business meeting this morning, I was stopped by a bus loading middle school students for their first day of school. After the students were loaded, we continued –after what seemed like an almost interminable wait--for the bus to move on.

FINALLY a mother appeared from stage right dragging her much bigger and much taller son to the bus. He kicked; he fought; he struggled.  But she persisted—if only for a bit-- and finally forced him on to the bus.

I hoped the drama was over, but no, he refused to take his seat. Finally the bus driver kicked him off the bus, and he and his mother walked calmly home.

As I watched this drama play out, I couldn’t help but wonder about the impact on these relationships going forward--his willingness to go to school tomorrow, his relationships with other students on the bus, the relationship between mother and son.

Clearly the mother did not achieve her goal, and the son won only for the moment. The problem was not resolved. Their team did not win. Surely, there had to be a better way.

Just when I thought the drama was over, when I arrived for my business meeting, I was amazed to see the same play unfolding on a different set. The players were different, but the plot was the same.

 The CEO needed the leadership team to step up and solve a critical business problem. He pushed, prodded and intimidated his people to make the changes he believed essential.

The more he pushed, the harder his team resisted. As a result, nothing happened and everyone’s position had hardened. The company still needed to change and no one was willing to move. Surely, there had to be a better way.

Seeing the same play on two different stages within two hours made me stop and think; how many times have I pushed when I should have listened? told when I should have asked?applied more pressure when I should have let go? Surely this might be a better way.